Things I Wonder About

Why does brown seem like the more natural, healthier choice for things that come in both white and brown, like eggs and coffee filters?

Is it at all painful for a chicken to lay an egg, either a brown one (if it’s a brown chicken) or if it’s a white one (if it’s a white chicken)?

How come I never saw a brown chicken?

Do white chickens discriminate against brown chickens?

Do white farmers take better care of white eggs than brown ones? This would assume that the white farmer is subtly or not-so-subtly racist. What would happen if the racist farmer got a much higher price for those brown eggs?

Why are the elliptical machines at my gym, that are all the same, slightly different when they give you the calorie count or WATTS for the same activity? I always choose the one that gives me the highest calorie count.

What is a WATT on the elliptical machine?

If we hooked up a lightbulb to the elliptical machine would it light up and then dim when you slow down? Would the brightening of the lightbulb be an incentive to work harder?

If the WATTS could power a lightbulb could they power a fan? I’d definitely speed up to get a fan going on me even though the increased speed would create more heat that the fan wouldn’t necessarily counteract. But, I’d be fooled into thinking it did.

Is there life after death? What does it look like? Do we just get to. go do whatever it is we loved doing while in bones and skin? Can we say whatever we want without concern about being tossed out of the Afterlife? Do we get to do all the things we were afraid to do in life life? Like skydiving? Or being a stand-up comedian?

If we have a heart attack and die a few days after we finally found out what we really wanted to do for work is our last thought super angry? Or are we so happy that we are cool with whatever happens next?

Why do dogs like to lick your face as a sign of affection? Is it equivalent to kissing a person you feel affection for? If it is doggie kissing why do they like to lick up your nose? Would humans lick up each other’s noses when they love someone if the other human wouldn’t flip out about it?

How do they make those candles that are called “Clean Cotton” or “Beachwalk”? They really do smell like clean laundry and the beach.


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